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  • ORU SLIM SHADY 1 & 2



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  • ORU SLIM SHADY 1 & 2

    Hello ORU family and friends, and welcome to the "ORU Slim Shady" international headquarters.

    (the story listed below is an instant classic)

    • Connect to the DJ Clay "Audio Archive of Hilarious Politically Incorrect Ear Candy."

    Fun with Prefacing:

    In 2000 I was asked to leave ORU for producing a parody song that exposed the school's "known" misdeeds at the time. I also know that nearly everything written in your article is 100% true, and it kills me because the ORU campus provides such a great and unique campus atmosphere. This atmosphere however, is in danger of being destroyed by Richard and Lindsey Roberts, their extravagant spending and zero accountability. I hope your article will result in their swift removal and ORU's returning to its founding principles of SPIRIT, MIND & BODY.

    **Disclaimer...as is the new tradition in the American workplace, anything mispelled below is the direct fault of someone other than the person typing this.**

    The Legend of the "ORU Slim Shady."

    In a land far, far away...

    The Year was 1999, and I was a freshman at Oral Roberts University, and by the fall-break of 1999 most of the ORU campus knew I was a DJ because of my shameless self promotion. I lived in dorm room 416 on EMR's 4 north floor. I rapped, I recorded, I DJed and for the most part kep my life non-caucasian.

     

    Meanwhile on EMRs "Kingsmen Wing" Chris Hart, Nate, Pat were hearing in the incredible flows of one young Caucasian Rapper named Adam Bagwell from Littleton, Colorado the now infamous scene of the those evil Colombine High School Shootings.

    Everyone knew Young Adams flow was incredible. And thus many wanted us to hook up in a non-homosexual kind of way to record, to collaborate and to create funk And without any fore warning it happened with a knocky, knocky on my metal dorm room door. The funkiest white kid I had ever met, The Adam Bagwell a.ka. "THE ORU SLIM SHADY" entered my life.

    From the time we met, we knew we were brothers from another mother unless our fathers were the same, in which case we would be brothers, however that was never investigated, so the assumption was made that we were not actual brothers. Moving along, as we went through school we both found an oasis of creativity behind the mic and mixing board found within the bowels of EMR dorm room. We slept little and we recorded much.

    Always producing and editing music, and then producing what we had edited in reverse from time to time to keep things creative. Adam and I recorded jams for the ORU "Battle of the Bands", a.k.a. the "Battle of the Acoustic Guitar Praise and Worship Caucasian Bands." These battles were dominated by white dudes, who wore sandles, and who shopped at Abercrombie with his brother Fitch, so our appearance at these events was always comical in the way that being the only white dude at Church is comical. Ha, Ha.

    Thanks to Ryan Tedder, now famous for his & Timbaland's Billboard Smash Hit, "Apologize," we procured a quality condenser mic. Oh Ryan Tedder thank you for the blue audio technic mic, and for your hilarious Gay Cuban impressions.

    And with the blue aduio technic mic, it all began. First I recorded the "Ford Escort Song," a tribute to my late 1989 Ford Escort and my first DJ ride. To say it sounded bad, would be an exaggeration, and would be wrong. It sounded much worse than bad. It had all the quality of the decoration department at the local DMV. And I do mean the DMV with his orange chairs, and brown paint, and blue carpet, and slow minded people...and...

    Anyway, Adam recorded Christian and positive minded rap songs. And I recorded overtly sexual songs, and songs that made up for their lack of form with randomness. A common denominator was not present in my songs. I recorded off-the-wall love songs for my girlfriend Vanessa, now my wife. Then I recorded Adams Christian rap. Funny, how one studio could record pagan music and Christian music.

    And then we one late night (all night) after experiencing Richard Roberts and his incredibly and unintenionally transparent bogusness for the last time, we decided it must be done, and we had to do it. It was our time, and it was our night. We had to recorded ORU "ORU SLIM SHADY" and record it we did. All night, over the course of 12 hours we recorded and we rerecorded. Over the years Richard, Nutzy, Lindsey, The ORU Basketball Team, and various R.A.s had given us so much material, how could we condense all of this good material into one song. "American Pie" was a long song, and I thought maybe we could just call it, the "Long Song." However, the "Thong Song" was out at the time, and we would have hated to have confused our song with that blatantly hyper-sexual song.

    This parody had to be something that would stand the test of time. This parody had to be rich like Richards bank account after a nice Congo tent revival. This parody had to be quick-witted like Richard when he wants to fire up the old ORU jet to get the Bahamas. This parody had to have more lasting power than Lindseys last home renovation. This song could not be an audio softball like the audio of Larry Kings interview and investigation into the allgations relating to Richard Roberts. This song had to bring the heat, and it had to be funny. This song had to bring the spirit of the corruption to surface and to the attention of the ORU student bodys minds.

    And with these thoughts in mind, we made it so. And because we were attending college during the time of Napster, this song spread like fire after a few of our wing mates "borrowed it." I believe Chris Hart "borrowed it," but it could have been "AJ" or "Nate" or some dude from another floor. I will probably will never know who put our song on Napster, but I do appreciate their distribution of the ORU SLIM SHADY daily.

    The moment the song went online and onto the internet it became an instant ORU classic..right up there with the man's idea of locking himself in the old prayer tower until money cameth.

    As the song quickly made its way across the campus via internet, e-mail, CD and school's voice Adam Bagwell quickly exited the ORU campus to attend college at Colorado Christian. He was when the songs popularity reached its peak.

    And thus around the time of the songs 1,000th download off of Napster I was the only one left at ORU to answer for the songs' content...which I actually enjoyed, as it gave me a chance to discuss my views, and the views of the silent ORU majority to the Dean of Men..or was he the Dean or Women? Ha?

    As I did then at the age of 18 in 1999, I still do stand behind nearly every word of the songs' pointed lyrics. The only part I did not agree with was the comment about Danny Daniels, who Adam and I did not like at the time because of his extreme legal eagle attitude towards being an R.A. But Danny if you are listening you are the dude. You are banking legend. And in the future if I am ever in need of borrowing money from your bank I will call you. Oh yes my Brother I will call you.

    And now at the ripe old age of 26 in the year of 2007...I feel as though the song might in deed have more meaning now, than it did then. Were we right? Hell yes we were right. Was the Dean of Mean an absolute Kool-aid drinker for the Richard Roberts personal get rich quick ministry? Yes. Did anyone else say anything? No. Why? Because God likes the number 3.

    And so it took 3 professors to expose now, what we all knew then...watching Lindsey Roberts and Richard Roberts interact with other humans is more more plastic and more synethetic than watching Benny Henn and Barbie eating a happy meal.

    Enjoy the song and may it inspire you to vote Richard and Lindsey off Eagle Island.

    Download the ORU Slim Shady Here

    918-481-2010

    www.djconnectiontulsa.com

    "Number disk jockeys in the Tulsa area." - Modern Bride Magazine

    LYRICS TO

    "RICHARD APOLOGIZES: THE ORU SLIM SHADY 2"

    ORAL ROBERTS: There is alot of history here I wanna bring to you...

    RICHARD ROBERTS: I'm not some star that has to be over here on a pedestal, it's just me...some skeptic might get mad at me!

    But they cannot over come the bible...

    "ORU SLIM SHADY" (EXCERPT) : Yo, I guess the first lady she said it was ok

    And her word stands Pastor Schuler found out the hard way.

    TIMBALAND: Say what?

    RICHARD ROBETS: Larry I have not done anything wrong for which I needed to step aside,

    and in yesterday's BOARD OF REGENTS meeting I got an overwhelming response of support from the board.

    DJ CLAYVIS:1. Give-me-the-microphone first so I can speak,

    Like the Lawsuit I know it's gonna leak. 2. an epic tale, about a televangelist,

    Like Britney Spears it's just SO scandulous!...3. You see it all took place on the ORU campus...

    Enough Bull S$&*T to intimidate a rancha!

    4. And like Lindsey's show "They Made Everyday Count"

    Prostituting spirit, mind & body for large amounts!

    5 Money once caimeth but RICH had to leave,

    He once was Rich, the former ORU THIEF.

    7. The word was out, the vindication had been served

    Finally the board had been heard.

    8. But not before Eagle Nation observed...Them

    On Larry King acting obsurd, and...10.

    9. With his hair slicked back, he mistated every fact,

    Lyin to America, while Lindsey had his back.

    10. Then Lindsey spoke about the REALLY, REALLY BLACK MOLD (soundclip possible)

    To justify their REALLY, REALLY NICE HOME...

    12. Rennovations, and her 500 shoes

    and her text messages to boys at ORU.

    13. BAHAMA trips in the University the Jet,

    Paid for, and prayed for with University Debt...

    14. Rich..I can see why God told you to go....

    There was 52 million reasons you couldn't say no.

    RYAN TEDDER SINGS: (without his permission...so go buy the ONE REPUBLIC ALBUM "Dreaming Out Loud")...RYAN is a former ORU "Covenant" Winger, friend and current pop star of ONE REPUBLIC...go by their CD.

    It's too late to apologize...

    I said it's too late!

    I said it's too late to apologize...

    I said it's too late!

    Woooo.....

    DJ CLAY:

    1. The heavens opened up, and the praying hands clapped

    When those professors spoke up slammed you to the mat...

    2. And when Dr. Lewindowski drew that line in sand...

    I swear I wanted to just hug that man.

    3. Like Tedder's being singing "It's Too Late To Apologize"

    For 14 years of deception and lies...

    4. And to be fair I declare w've all make mistakes...

    but in your case, we care enough to have you replaced!

    5. So alumni world-wide almni could finally fly,

    So alumni world-wide could have some pride

    6. From the pulpit my brothas, guilty was verdict...

    And from Christ Chapel we all had to observed it

    7. But now the dark clouds have been lifted

    And now its time for our attention to be shifted...

    9. To the goodnews of spirit, mind, & body...Now if you'll excuse me I've gotta go to hobby lobby.

    RYAN TEDDER SINGS: (without his permission...so go buy the ONE REPUBLIC ALBUM "Dreaming Out Loud")

    It's too late to apologize...

    DJ CLAY: Goodbye Richard...We're Gonna Sell Out Some Games Now!

    RYAN TEDDER SINGS: (former ORU "Covenant" Winger, friend and current pop star of ONE REPUBLIC...go by their CD).

    I said it's too late!

    I said it's too late to apologize...

    I said it's too late!

    DJ Clay (A tad bit too late)

    TEDDER SINGS (without his permission):

    Woooo.....

    DJ CLAYVIS (THE RAP "SUPER-STAR AND ULTRA-HUMBLE MC/DJ HOST)...:

    1. And on personal a note, it was 7 years ago...

    When bags and I sat down to compose that flow

    2. FOR THE SLIM, THE ORU SLIM SHADY

    That got me kicked out like Carlton from the Mabee

    3. But alot has changed since then...I'm a Christian,

    Now my son being healed was just the beginning (my son Aubrey Clark was healed from total blindness)

    4. Ant To guys of UCOV I've I got much love,

    5. And Mark D. rest in peace above...(in reference to DJ Clay's Former Roommate Mark DePetris who passed away during Clay's time at ORU)...

    OH!!!!

    RYAN TEDDER SINGS: (without his permission...so go buy the ONE REPUBLIC ALBUM "Dreaming Out Loud")

    It's too late to apologize...

    DJ CLAY: It's just a couple seconds too late...

    RYAN TEDDER SINGS (100% without his permission):

    I said it's too late!

    DJ CLAY PONTIFICATES:

    It's too late Richard...

    RYAN TEDDER BELTS OUT (without his permission):

    I said it's too late to apologize...

    DJ CLAY:

    Just a Nano-Second

    TEDDER:

    I said it's too late!

    DJ CLAY:

    ALMOST!

    TEDDER:

    I said it's too late to apologize...

    DJ CLAY:

    Richard we are gonna miss you, everybody go out and buy ONE REPUBLIC'S CD which I have shamelessly bootlegged...

    Thank you Ryan Tedder...

    And there is no one better...

    Except Trevor...

    And I am clever...

    And now a word from Dean Boyd and his thoughts on the ORU SLIM SHADY...

    FORMER ORU DEAN BOYD: (secretly recorded by DJ Clayvis during his meetings with Dean Boyd regarding his dismissal from ORU)

    (In reference to the "ORU SLIM SHADY" not representing ORU in a favorable light)

    The lyrics of that CD (the "ORU SLIM SHADY")...

    Are not the replication of a picture from a magazine are they?

    I will address those issues...(the issues described in the "ORU SLIM SHADY")

    Should those issues become an issue...and come to my attention...

    And my position is the same (As the other rest of the Deans)...

    I will see you on Monday Morning we will discuss the position of this UNIVERSITY concerning your tenure here as a student (and they kicked me out - DJ Clayvis)

    *******************************

    THANK YOU ORU for the EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCE...it's working...

    DJ CLAY CLARK

    OWNER OF DJ CONNECTION TULSA INC.

    www.djconnectiontulsa.com

    918-481-2010

     

    Propaganda & Highly-Biased Fun Facts:

    • In October of 2007 DJ Connection became a Better Business Bureau Accredited Business for our team's continued excellence in customer service.
    • In June of 2007 DJ Connection was featured in the Tulsa World Business Section for our recent awards and for our owner's upcoming book "Turn Your Passion Into Profits"
    • Clayton Clark owner of DJ Connection Tulsa Inc. was named the 2007 State of Oklahoma Young Entrepreneur of the Year.
    • During the early summer of 2007 DJ Connection was featured in Oklahoma Magazine's feature entitled "40 under 40" which was an article describing Oklahoma's top 40 entrepreneurs under the age of 40.
    • During the calendar year of 2006 DJ Connection donated $10,000 + of service to local Oklahoma charities including March of Dimes and Relay for Life.
    • DJ Connection received recognition from the "American Wedding Association" as Tulsa's Best Wedding Vendor in 2006.
    • DJ Connection was named "The number-one DJs in the Tulsa area...They are great party executors" by Modern Bride Magazine in their December/January 2005 edition
    • DJ Connection is a proud member of Tulsa Bridal Association
    • DJ Connection, DJ Clay and the rest of the DJ Connection staff volunteer 100s of hours of work with local (Tulsa) in school peer and mentor groups.
    • DJ Connection Tulsa Inc. is an ecstatic member of the American Wedding Association

    For more information on ORU Slim Shady, the oru slim shady, the oru scandle, oru and the tulsa world, oru larry king, richard roberts, and dj clay read on above.


    For more information about DJ Connection's founder, serial entrepreneur, award-winning U.S. SBA "Entrepreneur of the Year" Clay Clark call us today at 918-481-2010. Listed below are various links to his multiple business ventures. Click below visit these websites:

    Founder of DJ Connection, U.S. Chamber National Blue Ribbon Quality Award Winner,  U.S. SBA Entrepreneur of the Year, Dallas Business Coach, Serial Entrepreneur, Tulsa Metro Chamber "Entrepreneur of the Year" Clay Clark is also the founder of Tulsa Real Estate company Fears & Clark Realty Group. This company is the home of the best Tulsa realtors in Oklahoma. Find your house today at www.fearsclark.com.

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